Yes, we are expecting! (Are you offended?)

Some of you clever folks caught my one-liner, and yes, i am pregnant. The timing sure is interesting, but a new little life is a truly wonderful blessing in any circumstance. I've been quite sick just like last time. Pretty much as soon as i recovered from the pig virus (H1N1), the nausea set in. And then the throwing up. Two nights ago i just couldn't keep anything down- even liquids- so Nate took me into the hospital for an IV. It took 3 nurses and 5 tries to actually get the IV in. But they upped the Zofran to 8mg twice a day, which really has made a difference. I only threw up once yesterday and once today rather than all day like before. I think i'm about 8 weeks right now. We were going to wait to tell people, but Nate kept slipping, and i figure i'm sick enough that it's the real deal. (: Part of what's really adding to the nausea is that i have a supper heightened sense of smell. I can't walk by the trash can, change a messy diaper, or do any type of food prep or clean up without gagging or worse. Nate's really stepped it up, but he's not really into the cooking thing, so there's lots of snacking and canned soup eating going on. So... have us over for dinner! We could use a healthy home cooked meal.

We'll let me specify. Have us over if you like us and want to cook for us. I'm not up for going into the lion's den and some unkind words have found their way right back to us. Here's what i think would make things better. Take the biblical route. If you have an offense with someone, go directly to them. It says in Proverbs, words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. And if you decide you can overlook the offense, great. Proverbs says it's honorable to do so. But don't then go and share your grief with another person. The Bible gives you two options, you can bring the offense to the person who offended you (so you can reconcile) or you can give it to God and move on. So i ask you to do the same. See when you bring the offense to the person directly, you open the door for finding the truth, correcting misunderstandings and for repentance and forgiveness. I wonder what stops people from doing this. And i have to ask myself, what has stopped me from doing this. At times it could have been the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that comes from confrontation. But mostly, i think it's our pride that holds us back from going to a person directly when we've been offended. It takes admitting that we might also have been wrong and have something to own up to...that we might have misinterpreted something...that we might have bought into someone else's lie. And ultimately it takes humility enough to let go of negative feelings you have towards someone and to admit they might not have been justified in the first place.

To address a real life example, if any of you are upset that i haven't been in touch, consider my predicament. I've heard feedback that some people would rather us just move on, and then other people want me to call them. There are some people that i really only hung out with when we were at the same event and others who it's just hard to get stay as connected with given the distance. Plus, I don't know who's been part of spreading lies or allowing others to spread lies. I don't know a lot of things. It's been confusing and painful and hard to know where to turn. Not to mention, i've been pretty sick for the last 4 weeks between H1N1 and pregnancy. And to tell you the truth, i'm not really a phone person. I talk on the phone to a few college friends and that's about it. And even with them we have an awesome no obligation "haven't heard from you in 6 months but still love you and you can still barrow my stuff" policy. I think you get to a point in life where that's really the only kind of friends you have the energy for anymore-- Honest friendships where there's love and leeway.

I had a friend a while back who used to have have her husband ask my husband if i was mad at her. My first thought was, "well i wasn't before, but i am now." How annoying. At first i tried the higher road of letting it go and giving it to God. Then out of the blue it happened again. I was truly annoyed, and there was no shaking it... so i had no choice but to talk to her directly. It was uncomfortable, yes, but for perhaps the first time our relationship was upfront and real and grown up. I told her if i were mad at her (which is pretty uncommon for me anyway, so no need to be paranoid) i would talk to her about it, and no more of this talking through our husbands drama! Geez!

So if you find yourself irritated that i haven't called you since all of this mess, please just give me the benefit of a doubt. Ask yourself, did we ever even used to talk on the phone regularly? (because knowing me, we probably didn't, so why get offended by that now) And have you tried contacting me lately? If you want to talk to me, rather than complaining that it's not happening, just do it! I'd love to talk you, especially in person, because i'm best at personal face to face friendships. And if you have an offense, i'd rather work it out than hear about it from someone else. Because otherwise, aren't we really just in high school again with the "he said" "she said" and "did you hear what i heard about so-in-so?"

Oh, and PS. that reminds me, Nathan was never fired before, and we're on good terms with all of the churches he's been a part of or served with before. In fact we've spend the last few Sundays at our Dad's churches and he was even hired to teach Bible classes at NCCC last month... so let's just end that rumor here. Please ask us if you want to know more or call Harford Community Church or New Covenant Community Church to get your facts straight. WE'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE!

Smearing a man's name is stealing- stealing a reputation- taking something which belonged to someone else. Remember the 10 Commandments? Boy, i think we could use that series all over again right now. Can i get an "Amen"? Where are you, my Christ-following, feeding the hungry, caring for the needy, reconciling relationships, testifying to the truth, brothers and sisters?

I love that poetic line quoted in Dangerous Minds:
"You've got to rage against the dying of the light"

Take away: Either let go of an offense, or go directly to the person. Don't use prayer, or conversation with a "trusted" friend as an excuse to air dirty laundry. Gossip spreads and hurts.